On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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