Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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