ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
