did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
