I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
