please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
