Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
