I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
