Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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