I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
the raccoons are back...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize