I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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