My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
