I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
