her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
