exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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