Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
