do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
