next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
