Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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