i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
