He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
