I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
