I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
