thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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