OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
