im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
