Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
