you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
