am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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