i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
this just has baby written all over it
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
