Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
