Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
