you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
