i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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