apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize