let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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