i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
