I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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