i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I look better un-naked...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
