i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
