I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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