We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize