Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
