Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
