She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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