the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize