he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
