somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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