i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
