the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
