someone get that fucking seahorse.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
