It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
