I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
