We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
