What did we do last night that was yellow?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
