I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So here I am, sexting at work.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
