im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize