I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
