a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
