Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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