I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
