she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
