So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
