he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
