went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
