so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
not ubering you a puppy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
