He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
