I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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