Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
