He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
