Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Randomize
