But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
