I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
