And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
