I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
