yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
