Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
