Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
