Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize