Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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