Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
