Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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